Hunger
by DeadWoman
Summary: Scapegrace's need for food has reawakened after so long and he doesn't want to admit it. Weird one-shot set before dotl. Disclaimer: everything is derek landy's


**Hunger **

_Set before dotl. No spoilers._

Scapegrace opened his eyes with an odd sensation in his stomach. _Hunger _he thought with panic. He had to eat now. He got up and sneaked downstairs to the kitchen, hoping that Thrasher and Clarabelle were still asleep...

"Morning, Master." The annoyingly cheerful voice of the muscular and -Scapegrace had to admit it- gorgeous Thrasher piped up and Scapegrace frowned at him. Thrasher was drinking something from a mug and bacon was sizzling in a pan. Scapegrace felt himself drool and it wasn't because Thrasher didn't have a top on.

"Thrasher, who is that _food _for?" Scapegrace managed to make food sound like a bad word although he was craving that bacon drizzled with butter and a nice cup of coffee.

"It's for me, Master," Thrasher said in his stupid masculine voice. "I got hungry when I woke up so I'm making it. Would you like some?"

"Like some?" _I'd love some,_ Scapegrace thought. "You idiot, I don't eat. I am the Dark and Stormy Knight and I..that isn't a pile of pancakes is it?"

"Yeah. They're for Clarabelle. Are you sure I can't tempt you?" Thrasher asked, smiling. Scapegrace frowned at him and stomped out of the room and upstairs. He threw on a tight sweater and some jeans before he saw his face in the mirror. His red hair was unruly but he still looked gorgeous. Ugh. He missed his old body so much.

Scapegrace slipped on the kind of boots Valkyrie Cain would wear and then tucked his new phone into his jeans pocket. "I'm going out!" He yelled and got out the door without any complications. He was the Dark and Stormy Knight, the Zombie King, the Killer Supreme...he could beat the reawakening of his human urges. He thought of McDonald's but settled for a little cafe near the new Sanctuary. As soon as he stepped inside, he regretted that. Skulduggery and Stephanie were sat at a booth, Stephanie eating a bag of crisps and Skulduggery surveying everything. Damn it.

Scapegrace started to walk out. "Scapegrace? What are you doing in a cafe?" Stephanie said.

"Oh just thought Grand Mage Sorrows was in here." Scapegrace lied. Stephanie frowned.

"What would China be doing in here?"

"She might be hungry."

"I don't think China gets hungry." Stephanie said then Skulduggery looked at Scapegrace in a way that Scapegrace could only describe as detective-y. Skulduggery's facade's full lips were frowning and his bright blue eyes were inquisitive. Suspicious! That was the description of that look. Scapegrace slowly backed out of the door then turned round and ran. He reached a badly lit and unsanitary-looking restaurant that served 'breakfast food' but when he went inside, he saw the Monster Hunters picking at omelets.

"Scapegrace?" Gracious said loudly. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought you didn't eat." Donegan added.

Scapegrace panicked again. "I'm looking for China." He blurted out and ran off. He went to a fast food place, assuming no-one else would be there at this time in the morning. He assumed wrong.

"Scapegrace?" Dexter said and Scapegrace cursed everyone in Roarhaven to a thousand fiery depths of Hell.

"Morning, Vex! Have you seen the Grand Mage?"

Dexter's face grew solemn and angry then he sighed. "You mean China? Not Erskine."

"No, not...not Ravel."

"I haven't seen either of them." Dexter said then brandished a bag of fries in Scapegrace's face. "Don't these smell good, eh? They're delicious."

"I don't eat." Scapegrace scowled and walked off.

...

After sitting in the pub, resisting the urge to eat all the crisps they had on sale, Scapegrace stealthily sneaked off to the closest supermarket. It was almost empty as Scapegrace's hand closed around a bar of chocolate and as he threw a €10 note at the cashier woman and as he didn't wait for change and as he...

"Scapegrace, what are you doing here?" Fletcher asked. The Monster Hunters, Dexter Vex, Skulduggery Pleasant, Thrasher, Clarabelle and Stephanie were behind him.

"I AM GETTING SOMETHING TO EAT!" Scapegrace shrieked in frustration. "I AM STARVING!"

Thrasher started applauding. "Oh, well done, Master, you're eating again!"

Scapegrace ran away, leaving a trail of ripped up pieces of chocolate bar wrappers behind him. He bit into the gooey deliciousness that was chocolate and sighed.

Who cared about Darquesse and the world ending when he had chocolate?


End file.
